Your Imaginary Flaw
There’s something uniquely challenging about working in a personal service profession like photography, especially when the service is as closely tied to self-image as headshots are. It’s one of the few professions where a person’s dissatisfaction with themself can lead to their dissatisfaction with your work product. I think hairstylists, makeup artists, and personal stylists probably have the same issues. If people don’t like the way they look when you’re done with them, it feels like you’re not doing your job well, even if the real reason they dislike the final product is because they’re not happy with their appearance.
As a headshot photographer, I’ve been able to work with thousands of individuals from all walks of life. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: absolutely everyone has an imaginary flaw.
Whether it’s a scar, a skin issue, uneven lips, or that one eye that seems to open a little wider than the other, everyone I shoot with has something they see in the mirror that they’re convinced is blinking like a neon sign. We can have great lighting, great poses, a perfect wardrobe, a knockout smile, and someone will walk over and say “My hair looks awful!” or “Just look at the size of my chin!” or “My eye is doing that thing again!”
As hard as it is to hear that (and to watch people being so hard on themselves) you know what’s funny? No one else notices it. What people do notice—what we all subconsciously evaluate when we see a photo of someone else—isn’t their individual features. We don’t look at someone’s chin size, forehead length, or comparative eye size in a headshot. Instead, we’re evaluating the overall vibe they’re presenting. Do they seem open? Honest? Relaxed? Friendly? These are the qualities that make us want to work with someone, to trust them, to reach out and connect.
How this Impacts Image Selection
But here’s the catch. When you’re not feeling great about how you look, it’s easy to get caught up in the details that only you notice. And this can lead to some interesting choices when it comes to selecting your final headshot images. Maybe you’ll pick the photo where your hair looks “just right,” even if your expression is less confident. Or perhaps you’ll choose the one where your face seems “less round,” even if your smile doesn’t seem authentic.
This is where it becomes so important to trust the process—and to trust me. Professional headshots differ from other types of photography, like wedding, couples or family photography. Those are often meant to show you at your most attractive. But professional headshots have a specific purpose. The whole point of a professional headshot isn’t to show off how tall, imposing, sexy, or skinny you look. It’s to create an image that encourages people to interact with you, to hire you, to partner with you. Your headshot is your first impression, and we want that impression to be warm, approachable, and professional.
Take a Breath
One thing I’ve noticed is that despite how much effort people put into their careers and personal brands, and how important headshots are to supporting that brand, they sometimes come into sessions feeling overwhelmed, tired, or distracted. Despite everyone’s best intentions, when headshot day comes around I’ve seen it all—unwashed hair, no makeup, unironed shirts, and a general lack of attention to detail. I completely get it. Life is busy, and preparing for a photoshoot can feel like one more thing on your never-ending to-do list. But this is one situation where taking that extra bit of care really pays off. (I will send you a list of prep tips before your session, so you will know how to get prepared. But it only works if you read it!)
And when it comes to choosing your final images, remember that while you might be fixated on a particular aspect of your appearance, what really matters is how the overall image comes together. Women, for example, sometimes focus on looking their most attractive in their photos. They want to choose an image that looks sexy, even when they’re aiming for confidence, authority, and professionalism. Men might choose a photo that makes them look taller, or more imposing, even if the expression is so forbidding that it could turn potential clients away.
Let Me Help
That’s why I’m here—to guide you through this process. To help you prepare, to keep you focused during the session, and to assist you in making the best headshot choices afterward. I understand that it’s hard to see past those insecurities. But trust me, I see you differently than you see yourself, and my goal is to capture the best version of you—the version that others will see as open, approachable, and someone they’d love to work with. Check out the images in my portfolio. About 20% of those images are not the images that the clients chose for themselves. Many times people don’t choose the best photo, the standout, amazing, knock-your-socks-off photo, because their imaginary flaw was too prominent for their liking.
So, when I offer advice on how to prepare or which images to choose, know that it comes from a place of experience and a genuine desire to help you succeed. Let’s work together to create a headshot that not only looks great but also truly represents who you are and what you have to offer.
Interested in setting up a headshot session with me? Contact me here!
Susan Bennet is a professional headshot photographer based in St. Louis, Missouri. She specializes in corporate, acting, personal branding, and medical headshots, and can work with you individually in-studio, or come to your location and work with your whole team.
